S.M.E.S. - Gory Gory Halleluja!

Whoever thought that goregrind that sounds like it has been composed entirely on an early 90s game console chipset would be a good idea? I mean, I'm not even sure if it is actually a good idea, but fuck it, I think it is pretty awesome, so who cares, eh? S.M.E.S., if you don't know, is the baby of once Last Days Of Humanity vocalist Erwin De Groot (who is also doing vocals more recently with the amazing Butcher MD), playing goregrind / tupa tupa style stuff in an entirely synthetic way.

The sound combines gurgled pitchshifter noises with 'scapes of MIDI-grade instrumentation, resulting in an ultra lo-fi experience, like Libido Airbag meets Mario Kart. Yeah. Embrace that shit.

Grunt - Codex Bizarre

Grunt (the Portugese gore/porn/whatever/grind band, not the power electronics project of the same name) have been causing quite a stir lately for various reasons, and the main response amongst "haters" online is that the music made by Grunt is for neanderthals. So I listened. Ha! I'm not exactly a stranger to the seedier sub-genres of grind (shhh though, don't tell the real trve grinders I called this grind) but I was very much blown away by how on-point this record is. I was expecting some mediocre tupa tupa bollocks but this is fresh, interesting, and put together with a strong studio production job. (edit: I have seen Grunt live before, a long time before listening to this, but the sound was so fucking bad at that venue they literally had no chance).

Just by looking at the artwork one would instantly draw comparisons to Cock And Ball Torture, and whilst the band do draw elements from that mucky pool of inspiration, Grunt have their own unique sound, mashing together cleverly-assembled metal with elements of goregrind, dark and twisted electronica, and a not-too-imposing usage of source material and sampling. I mean, sometimes it's hard to bang on some pornogrind at top volume when there's a crap sample of somebody having an orgasm over the top of it every five minutes.

You can stream the whole album on YouTube or Bandcamp or get the real thing from the legendary Bizarre Leprous. 

Libido Airbag - Knee Deep In Her Pussy

Welcome to the album that got me banned from the Vinyl Junkies group on Facebook! Haha! 

There was some spat happening on there over the use of the nude female form as album artwork. The usual pros and cons were discussed, where the line between pornography and art lies etc. etc., and I argued (quite sensibly, I would like to think) that no matter what the image may be, if the band or artist has chosen that image to represent their sound, it becomes art. It is irrelevant if the image is crass, offensive, moving, beautiful or plain boring. It is now art. A lot of people argreed with me so I posted this record sleeve as a kind of hamfisted example – and was promptly booted from the group. LOL!

But fuck those prudes, this is German techno porno gore grind, bitches! I’m here to dance, not moan about nudity! This is by far the most lo-fi of all Libido Airbag releases, and it is often mistaken for the band’s debut album, but it’s actually a collection of two tape demos. It was released on CD and went out of print many, many moons ago, but Goatgrind Records did the scene a massive service and re-issued the collection on vinyl record for the first time.

Side B has a much better sound than side A, as it’s from a different session. All in all I listen to this album much more now that I have a decent pressing of it; the already muddy sound was crapified even further in dodgy mp3 downloads that I’ve possessed in the past. This pressing was fairly limited to, I think 200 copies, so if you’re gonna get it, I’d get it sooner rather than later (you ever seen the price on out of print Libido Airbag vinyl?).

Rock out with yer cock out!

Incest - Incest

Donno what the fuck is going on here...wow! It's like Aborym decided to do cybergrind and then do a collab with 7MON and Merzbow. When the longest track is 25 seconds long, and the entire EP a mere 10 songs in length, you know that what Incest has in store for you has just got to be painful. And it is. Sample-heavy drum machine grindcore mashes devastatingly with chunks of harsh noise and power electronics. I'm not sure if there is even a guitar in use here, or just some clever sampling.

Such a short release is gonna spawn a short review, so I'll just shut up an let Incest do the rest. Released through Vile Noise, a DIY scottish label.

Crowbar Abortion - MK Ultra

This is a classic of the Myspace days, recently revisited by myself as it's now been uploaded to Torn Flesh Records' first Bandcamp page (they have four Bandcamps (is that a word? lol) loaded to the gills with all sorts of crazy shit). The world of Crowbar Abortion is a strange one: dancable beats and random electronics mash somewhat excellently with flat-out drum machine grindcore, raspy, distorted vocals and shredding guitar solos (yes!). 

Don't let the shitty cover artwork put you off, this is one hell of a record. It kinda reminds me of The Kovenant, if you crossed them with Enemy Soil and, I dunno...Invasion-era Gigantic Brain? It's all a bit mental and can be a lot to take in on the first listen. I don't really know how well this has aged seeing as I loved it when I was a young 'un and I might be a little bit biased, but if you like your music sporadic, challenging and quite simply dripping with insanity, then I'd look no further for the time being. 

Press play, I dare you.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed / Halo - Split 7"

I think this is probably the hardest thing in the ANb discography to get a hold of. Sure, the Insect Warfare split and the Converge split can fetch rather hefty prices, and Tentacles of Destruction is fairly limited, but for sheer difficulty in regards to unoptainability (is that even a word? *edit - no, it's not), the split EP with Halo currently holds the crown (seeing as I don't have all the ANb shit yet, I won't say for definite, but I'd be surprised if anything else is more difficult to obtain).

The three original ANb tunes are from the Altered States era (they have that sound/feel, at least), and they are the typical old-school ANb stock of uber-fast drum-machine grindcore punishment. What I didn't see coming however, was the Slayer cover that takes up most of their side. "The Antichrist" definitely sounds a lot better with Richard Johnson on vocals, but I was never the biggest fan of Slayer, so I could take or leave this cover version.

Halo are the polar-opposites to ANb, in the speed stakes, at least. Deathly slow drumming and horrendous guitar feedback and low-end vibes make up the main "songs", where sparse but abrasive vocals howl over the top of it all, creating a rather unsettling yet interesting listen. Despite it's snail-like pace, the track doesn't last that long and I am left contemplating whether to search for more Halo material or not...

This was released on Relapse Records a while ago now, and was part of some subscription series. That's probably why it is so bloody difficult to come by. I'm glad I've finally gotten a hold of it though, as it goes towards the inevitable completion of my ANb collection, and it also contains ANb material that isn't available anywhere else, as far as I can tell.

Trivia - did any of you eagle-eyed ANb fans notice that track one is titled "Street Magician" on the cover but the same track is named "Ghetto Wizard" on the inner sleeve? 

Total Fucking Destruction / Skat Injector - Split 7"

Wowzers, what a noise! Ha ha! I got this split because I am slowly making my way through collecting the Total Fucking Destruction stuff. I'm not've really been that familiar with Skat Injector, up until now that is. Neil from Legs Akimbo was a legend in finding an unsold copy of this split for me, as this shit is pretty limited now. The TFD stuff here is just some live versions of well known tracks of theirs, but it's the Skat Injector side that really shines.

It's got a centre-hole like Amy Brooke's arse.

Skat Injector is some crazy shit. I don't really know how to describe it; it's like a mix of every possible electronic genre in one big jumbled bag of super-fast, dancable insanity. I'm not sure if the record is supposed to be spinning at 33 or 45 until the vocals come in; it really works both ways, but the correct speed is 33 1/3. 

Released as a collab between Binjuice Erotica, Hirntrust Grind Media and Legs Akimbo Records. Check it out below!

Anal Whore / Tumour / Urine Festival - Split CD

In another post recently (this one) I suggested off the cuff that somebody should make some mega fucking compilation of the sickest goregrind and porngrind projects related to Last Days Of Humanity. When I stumbled across this sick little fuck at the Rotten Roll stall in OEF I thought for a second that some celestial being might share some love for the sick shit! Granted, Anal Whore isn't related to LDOH (as far as I know, at least), but both Tumour and Urine Festival share links with them. Anyway, enough pointless waffling, on with the show!

 

 

This split CD really is something else. I implore you all to buy it, and bask lovingly in it's glow. This activity I recommend sharing with a loved one; a girlfriend, a grandmother, or a disabled child perhaps. You can leaf through all the free porn in the booklet and tray card as you are both bathed in some of the most disgusting noises ever put to tape. Anal Whore is a fantastic goregrind project; one of the first I heard and one of my favourites. Out of the three projects here, Anal Whore is the most "musically inclined", with a whole universe of shit hot riffs chugging away under the watery sludge and 9,000bpm drum machine. Throw in some worrying samples about enemas, and you've got a recipe for the perfect bedroom goregrind.

 

 

The Tumour stuff is more of the same, but I must say the sound is excellent here. Rogore's bass sounds funkier than ever, pushing the songs on through their B-movie drenched journeys. Urine Festival round off the, err, festival, with some of the most insane watery gore/porn grind in existence, It took me a while to like Urine Festival, I will be honest, but now I'm up all over that shit like maggots on a corpse I simply cannot accept any substitute. Fair dues to the 3 guys involved in making Urine Festival; this is some off the wall shit. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you guys? Ha ha. Sickness to the absolute fucking core.

Speaking of sickness....

Actually, I retract my previous statement. I wouldn't recommend this CD to anyone. It is a festering pile of disgusting filth with cover art to rank amongst the sickest ever. What the fuck is that shit anyway? Is it a tiny penis split down the middle; opened grotesquely for intense urethra play? Or is it some gammy red-raw stretched-out cunt lips; the clit gripped and squished to eye-watering proportions? Y'know, I don't think I ever want to find out (Oct 2013 edit: after much morbid staring at the cover I have devised that it is the latter). I'll just keep convincing myself that it's not real. Fuck you, Divine Noise Entertainment, for this gorrendous release.

Some sicko uploaded the Anal Whore part of this split to Youtube, so check it out (I love how it says "probably not safe for Youtube" on the video art - probably not safe for Youtube? Ha!). 

Dehydrated Tissues / Latexxx Command / Menstrual Fistfuck - Split CDr

When I got this through the door the other day it took me right back to the thick of the good ol' trading days! Gotta love these insane underground goregrind compilations and splits, there really is nothing like them anywhere else in the music world. As with most Dehydrated Tissues releases, this has been put out on the band's own label Regurgitated Stoma Stew Productions, who deal in a plethora of absolutely fucking filthy goregrind, porngrind and noisecore. Well worth a look in!

Dehydrated Tissues take their Rompeprop-worship to a whole new level here, even mimmicking Romperop's hilarious intro tracks with the song "IntroIntroLOL". Tracks like "Colon Pogo" and "I Am The Vaginal Cheese Inspector!!!" absolutely reek of Dutch polka goodness, and this can only be a good thing - there really is nothing quite like shaking your tail feather to some groovy-porno-gore-grind! It is the only music I can legitimately dance to (I'm not joking - you should have seen me at a Venetian Snares gig. Can anyone say "square"?).

Latexxx Command are just as great, but bring more of that dirty South American porno vibe, rather than wading through gore. Sure, it sounds virtually the same as Dehydrated Tissues give or take some production values, guitar tone and degree of phaser effect on the pitchshifter, but for me the definition between porngrind and goregrind is entirely the vibe you get from the music. It is easy to go ahead and catagorize bands into each genre, but so many sucessfully cross over so seamlessly that to an outsider it could look like there is no difference at all. Menstrual Fistfuck is a project by the same mind behind Latexxx Command and for this reason I think it sounds very similar to the latter, although it does shake it up a bit here and there.

Because I linked to Dehydrated Tissues in another blog post, today I will present to you instead the delights of the fantastic Latexxx Command. Get ready to dance, bitches.

Tumour - Spinal-Castrated Humanoid

I'll quickly start this post by asking if anyone reading has any idea what's become of Tumour these days? Is the project still going? Any news at all? Gimme a shout on Twitter or Facebook or even by email if you know what the deal is. Thanks!!!

This was the first Tumour record I heard, and I got it through a trade with the label in (I think) 2007, so it was a while ago now. I'm not sure if I fell in love with the vocals, bass or drums first. All of which are quite frankly awful - the vocals sound like a tuned-up waterfall-generator (you know, one of those relaxation boxes that give out sounds and pretty lights?), the bass sounds like humming machinery and the drums are cheap 'n' nasty programmed hits. But it all comes together to form the mother of bedroom goregrind! I'm not sure entirely if Rogore records his Tumour shits in a bedroom or an actual studio, but that is really besides the point here. The sound is what I'm trying to define.

The "album" itself isn't really that long, but is bolstered by a metric fuckton of "bonus traxxx", all of which are untitled, which seems a bit of a waste, because if you really like one you can't fuckin' tell which one it is, unless your watching the track number go up with every blast of grind. Or maybe you can memorize the sample at the beginning of the track! That's a good trick.

Anyway if you like nasty shit this is well worth a blast so give it a go. This was put out in 2006 by the great (and possibly defunct?) indy label Half-Life Records.

Throatplunger - Pummeled by Cocks

I don't know if I like Throatplunger because of their wigger-slam-cross-hypergrind nonsense, or because of their absolutely fucking excellent samples. Mingling both in disgusting pornographic unison, Throatplunger hit the fuckin' spot with their sounding-suspiciously-like-XXX-Maniak grindcore.

Pummeled by Cocks comes in DVD case with a photocopied cover featuring all the awful xeroxed porn you could ever want. What bugs me is that on the back, the tracklist is a couple of songs short! What's up with that? Confusing as fuck! There is even a rap track at the end of the record which is totally out of place but so goddamn funny.

I dunno how hard this is to get but it is obviously home-made so I'd imagine it's quite rare these days (think I can even find a copy of their second album as a download let alone a physical copy? Dim chance!). This little package was released on Sexual Battery Records, which I'm assuming is the band's own label. Whilst I recommend this to all open-minded grindcore fans I suggest that the uninitiated start with Throatplunger's material from their split 7" with XXX Maniak (Relapse's Slimewave 5 to be precise). You can find my post about it here for a glimpse of what this fucking mental band can do in just 5 minutes. 

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - Agoraphobic Nosebleed

 

Some of my most favourite ANb stuff ever! What a mess! There are like 28 songs on this 7", all of them micro-blasts of pure grinding hell. For those of you that have Bestial Machinery, these tracks are on disc 2, so you've probably heard them before. I can waffle on about like I can with any other ANb release but this really just has to be heard. It's been out since 1996 on Bovine Records and it's still essential today. If you're into grind you've more than likely heard this once but if not; get it down you, boyo!

 

There is no link to this on Youtube, however they do have disc 2 of Bestial Machinery uploaded. If you can figure out when track 25 starts (hahaha) then you can listen to the demo from there. It's worth a go? ;)

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - A Joyful Noise

Ho ho ho! Merry fucking Christmas! Hope your having a good one and that plenty of turkey and grog is consumed. In line with the festivities, I have planned a double post for today, showcasing both the Agoraphobic Nosebleed flexis put out by Decibel magazine. I'll start with my favorite - the former of the two; last year's A Joyful Noise on square transparent red. These flexis are an absolute bastard to get in the UK at a decent price, and I thank eternally my long-haul loving friend Gumpy for bringing me back a set from California. Your an absolute legend!

I always defend "new" Agoraphobic Nosebleed from the viscous attacks of old school grinders but then when ANb come out with something like this it does make me think; "shit, why can't we just go back to this all the time?". A Joyful Noise was an epic Christmas 2011 gift to the more demanding grind fans, with Scott Hull stripping ANb back to the microblast carnage of old; a simple recipe of harsh noise and fast as fuck drum machine grindcore, with longtime and not-currently-used-enough vocalist/mastermind J. Randall snarling all over the top of it like a deranged lunatic.

A treat for us fans of old ANb, but it really does make you think that it should be this way all of the time! Ha ha (No offence to the excellent Kat and Rich Johnson of course, I'm just pining for more fuckin' crazy digigrind)

Anyways, here is the whole thing streaming. Blast it and have a great day. Don't say I don't give you anything. 

The Berzerker - Dissimulate

An absolute classic record in every shape and form and propelled me full on into the world of grindcore and death metal. Could easily be a contender for one of my favourite albums of all time, but I think in my mid-teens I played this record to death. Unfortunately it was never pressed on vinyl (fecking sort it out Earache!), but the CD version will suffice. It's simple, and digital as fuck (in both sound and artwork) and probably is better off on a digital format.

If you've never heard of them before, the first thing you will probably notice about The Berzerker is the drums, which pretty much render everything else irrelevant unless your listening on a good speaker system. Good luck listening to 35 minutes of bass drum. Able to appreciate the full mix (and not to mention the low end) one would be subjected to one of the heaviest sounds known to man. The guitars are nothing but exquisite Carcass puppetry, as are, to a degree, the vocals, but the drums are absolutely facking mental as fuck, to put it one way.

Why create lightening fast yet ultra heavy grinding death just to lay a whole bunch of gabba hardcore kick drums over the top of it? At the core it's a stupid fucking idea but man this is the only thing that has ever crossed these two genres and sounded great. Opener "Disregard" is an all time favourite song, as are "Principles and Practices of Embalming" and "Abandonment". "Pure Hatred" is simply fucking livid, the human drumming capability barrier is pushed to it's limit in "Death Reveals" and "Corporal Jigsore Quandary"  knocks the socks off the Carcass original for speed and heaviness.

What makes the listening all the more mind-blowing is that the band employ a REAL drummer on this record. Rick Thomas from down in Oz is an absolute fucking machine and I implore anyone into drumming performance (and not too iffy about the over-use of triggers) to listen to this damnable blast of grinding death metal.

Tumour - Prepare to Putrefy

Hells bells I'll say one thing; Bringer Of Gore Rex loves the dirtier underbelly of grindcore almost as much as he loves his badly pixelated cover artwork! No frills here once again, just Tumour belting out blast after blast of indecipherable watery cyber grind. almost sounding like your mother drowning in piss after stealing the original LDOH demo and adding a electronic drum track to it (before she drowned in piss). Yes, this is that ridiculous I needed to use something equally ridiculous to describe it. Sprinkle in a few bad movie samples as song intros and presto you've got yet another Tumour release.

But it's so deliciously fucking excellent. Why idiots like me religiously buy every new instalment of shit like this i will never know, but there is just something about it that's so good. Maybe it's the dirty horrible sound that is so BAD is what makes it so GOOD, does that make any sense? It's almost like B-music. you have shitty awful crap films with huge cult followings, and this is the musical equivalent.  Maybe? Maybe not. For true goregrind fans only.

 

PS - This song isn't from this 7", there are no tracks from it on Youtube that I could find.