Last Days Of Humanity / FUBAR - Split 9"

So, so, so stoked for the return (yet again lol) of Last Days Of Humanity, and the return to the gurgling madness we all know and love. This return is somewhat low key, but I guess it fits with dropping new shit on a split. I believe the music on here was recorded some time ago, and that the vokills have been provided recently. It is good shit though, glad to have 'em back!

FUBAR (or is that F.U.B.A.R.) have been around for yonks but I am useless with this shit so I haven't had a proper listen to these guys since I heard the split with Catheter many moons ago. Their material here seems to have a lot more of a hardcore punk kinda influence than I remember, but this is solid stuff that I need to check out more of!

Out on Poland's excellent Fat Ass Records

Jesus Crost - Tot

Holy mother of fuck this is some fast fucking grindcore. This shit puts shame upon a whole world of bands claiming on "fast" and "brutal"; Tot is a short, sharp explosion of anger, distortion and all the blastbeats left in Holland. I guess it helps that the production is proper high-end and crystal clear, giving Jesus Crost all the professional space they need to fully unfold their maelstrom of football-themed fastcore fuckery. Soccergrind? Maybe not, but at least it sounds amazing!

Opener "Taurin 400" really sets the pace and bar for the rest of the record; a blasting and pummelling assualt of the senses that lasts a mere matter of seconds. It is hard to really tell the tracks apart by name, although there is the odd riff casually thrown in for good measure. Other than that though it's all blast blast blast, fast fast fast! I guess Jesus Crost know what they are about, and just get the fuck on with it, and quickly too. If you know what you're looking for in your music and this happens to be it then look no further my friend! Ha ha!

The "Bonustrax" live recordings from OEF 2008 tacked onto the end of the record leave a lot to be desired, however. I'm not sure how an accurate portrayal of Jesus Crost live these recordings show, but this is pretty awful. The band here sound nothing like the amazing band on the studio tracks here.

This is also available on a white 10" but I bought it on CD first so what are you gonna do...out on France's excellent Bones Brigade records.

Anal Whore / Tumour / Urine Festival - Split CD

In another post recently (this one) I suggested off the cuff that somebody should make some mega fucking compilation of the sickest goregrind and porngrind projects related to Last Days Of Humanity. When I stumbled across this sick little fuck at the Rotten Roll stall in OEF I thought for a second that some celestial being might share some love for the sick shit! Granted, Anal Whore isn't related to LDOH (as far as I know, at least), but both Tumour and Urine Festival share links with them. Anyway, enough pointless waffling, on with the show!

 

 

This split CD really is something else. I implore you all to buy it, and bask lovingly in it's glow. This activity I recommend sharing with a loved one; a girlfriend, a grandmother, or a disabled child perhaps. You can leaf through all the free porn in the booklet and tray card as you are both bathed in some of the most disgusting noises ever put to tape. Anal Whore is a fantastic goregrind project; one of the first I heard and one of my favourites. Out of the three projects here, Anal Whore is the most "musically inclined", with a whole universe of shit hot riffs chugging away under the watery sludge and 9,000bpm drum machine. Throw in some worrying samples about enemas, and you've got a recipe for the perfect bedroom goregrind.

 

 

The Tumour stuff is more of the same, but I must say the sound is excellent here. Rogore's bass sounds funkier than ever, pushing the songs on through their B-movie drenched journeys. Urine Festival round off the, err, festival, with some of the most insane watery gore/porn grind in existence, It took me a while to like Urine Festival, I will be honest, but now I'm up all over that shit like maggots on a corpse I simply cannot accept any substitute. Fair dues to the 3 guys involved in making Urine Festival; this is some off the wall shit. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you guys? Ha ha. Sickness to the absolute fucking core.

Speaking of sickness....

Actually, I retract my previous statement. I wouldn't recommend this CD to anyone. It is a festering pile of disgusting filth with cover art to rank amongst the sickest ever. What the fuck is that shit anyway? Is it a tiny penis split down the middle; opened grotesquely for intense urethra play? Or is it some gammy red-raw stretched-out cunt lips; the clit gripped and squished to eye-watering proportions? Y'know, I don't think I ever want to find out (Oct 2013 edit: after much morbid staring at the cover I have devised that it is the latter). I'll just keep convincing myself that it's not real. Fuck you, Divine Noise Entertainment, for this gorrendous release.

Some sicko uploaded the Anal Whore part of this split to Youtube, so check it out (I love how it says "probably not safe for Youtube" on the video art - probably not safe for Youtube? Ha!). 

Dead Neanderthals - Dead Neanderthals

There is no other band in the world that sounds like Dead Neanderthals (although 7000 Dying Rats and Rich Hoak's solo experiments do come close in their own little ways). Jazzgrind? Or is it saxgrind? Who the fuck would have thought it? Not me, that's for sure! Trust the Netherlands! Ha ha.

This is one of the original Bat Shit Records pressings of the 7" EP, limited to 105 copies (I have number 92). It is a simple affair of a printed and stamped card sleeve, folded to house a plain black 7". You have to look at the disc etching to figure out what side your playing! This is a basic, and excellently D.I.Y as fuck collectors item that I am proud to own. This is well out of print, as is, I believe, the repress, but you can still download it for free from Grindcore Karaoke.

On the ears, Dead Neanderthals first come across as extremely lo-fi and abrasive, but once your ears adjust you can truly appreciate the gorgeous racket that is going on here. Once you are over the absence of guitars  and vocals (just a saxophone and a drum kit here) you can properly begin to enjoy the tunes on offer. I imagine that Dead Neanderthals sound a hundred times better in a volatile live environment, and I was absolutely crushed to realize that I recently missed their brief UK tour. Totally gutted is an understatement!

These guys have a full 10" out now being distributed by Burning World records, which is a big deal, and I'm glad to see them getting some well deserved attention. I really think that Jay Randall's enormously successful Grindcore Karaoke label has a huge part to play in the international success of many bands, including Dead Neanderthals. I for one, to be sure, had never heard of these guys until I downloaded their record off that site. Excellent stuff all round!

 

Tumour - Prepare to Putrefy

Hells bells I'll say one thing; Bringer Of Gore Rex loves the dirtier underbelly of grindcore almost as much as he loves his badly pixelated cover artwork! No frills here once again, just Tumour belting out blast after blast of indecipherable watery cyber grind. almost sounding like your mother drowning in piss after stealing the original LDOH demo and adding a electronic drum track to it (before she drowned in piss). Yes, this is that ridiculous I needed to use something equally ridiculous to describe it. Sprinkle in a few bad movie samples as song intros and presto you've got yet another Tumour release.

But it's so deliciously fucking excellent. Why idiots like me religiously buy every new instalment of shit like this i will never know, but there is just something about it that's so good. Maybe it's the dirty horrible sound that is so BAD is what makes it so GOOD, does that make any sense? It's almost like B-music. you have shitty awful crap films with huge cult followings, and this is the musical equivalent.  Maybe? Maybe not. For true goregrind fans only.

 

PS - This song isn't from this 7", there are no tracks from it on Youtube that I could find.