Agoraphobic Nosebleed - Honky Reduction

This has to be the benchmark to which all drum machine grindcore is judged. ANb's first full length record is far cry from anything that has followed it (even the lightening fast pharmaceutical headfuck of Frozen Corpse... is a million miles away from this); the production is bassy, fat and bludgeoning, the guitars almost sludgy, and the shrieked, yelped vocals are almost drowned out by the cacophony of the strings and machine. And that harsh noise at the end... Jesus fuck, that's some moody shit which truly encompasses the meaning of the words "power electronics".

Can't really say much more other than just point out a few of my favourite tracks, "Die And Get The Fuck Out Of The Way", "Vexed", "Hat Full Of Shit".... the list, she goes on! Essential! 

Japanese Torture Comedy Hour - Dolphin Meat

Japanese Torture Comedy Hour was a noise project that revolved around Scott Hull, J Randall and other related musicians, and eventually became a solo project for Randall in it's own right. Dolphin Meat is an hour-long improvised live performance (entitled "日本の拷問コメディアワー - EP#62") created entirely out of feedback loops and recorded to VHS tape (because, fuck it, why not?). I tried doing something similar about five or six years ago; bleeding feedback from mic to speaker in an infinite loop in an attempt to create effortless, endless manipulatable distortion, but I failed catastrophically, so there's a little bit of respect here to Randall for getting all of this out of a simple feedback loop (I just suck at noise, really).

All things considered however, I guess this falls more under the power electronics umbrella and isn't at all that harsh - for a bunch of batshit crazy improvised feedback loops it's actually quite listenable. You can stream the entire thing at Randall's label page Grindcore Karaoke, or even download it if noise is yer thing, like.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed / Halo - Split 7"

I think this is probably the hardest thing in the ANb discography to get a hold of. Sure, the Insect Warfare split and the Converge split can fetch rather hefty prices, and Tentacles of Destruction is fairly limited, but for sheer difficulty in regards to unoptainability (is that even a word? *edit - no, it's not), the split EP with Halo currently holds the crown (seeing as I don't have all the ANb shit yet, I won't say for definite, but I'd be surprised if anything else is more difficult to obtain).

The three original ANb tunes are from the Altered States era (they have that sound/feel, at least), and they are the typical old-school ANb stock of uber-fast drum-machine grindcore punishment. What I didn't see coming however, was the Slayer cover that takes up most of their side. "The Antichrist" definitely sounds a lot better with Richard Johnson on vocals, but I was never the biggest fan of Slayer, so I could take or leave this cover version.

Halo are the polar-opposites to ANb, in the speed stakes, at least. Deathly slow drumming and horrendous guitar feedback and low-end vibes make up the main "songs", where sparse but abrasive vocals howl over the top of it all, creating a rather unsettling yet interesting listen. Despite it's snail-like pace, the track doesn't last that long and I am left contemplating whether to search for more Halo material or not...

This was released on Relapse Records a while ago now, and was part of some subscription series. That's probably why it is so bloody difficult to come by. I'm glad I've finally gotten a hold of it though, as it goes towards the inevitable completion of my ANb collection, and it also contains ANb material that isn't available anywhere else, as far as I can tell.

Trivia - did any of you eagle-eyed ANb fans notice that track one is titled "Street Magician" on the cover but the same track is named "Ghetto Wizard" on the inner sleeve? 

Agoraphobic Nosebleed / Apartment 213 - Split 12"

Apartment 213 are fantastic, muddy as hell powerviolence-fused grindcore. This is all well and good, but they are annihilated here by the material on the ANb side. We all know splits aren't competitions, but sometimes one band will just totally outweigh the other. Sorry guys! It is with a small irony then that Apartment 213's vocalist guests on all the songs on the ANb side.

 

The Agoraphobic stuff here is unlike anything else in their catalogue. From what I can tell, the sound seems to be stripped down to just bass and drum machines? I'm not entirely sure if Hull's guitars are tuned excessively low or it is just basses in use here, but shit, it sounds amazing! Enough fuzz and groove to give Om a wake up call, and enough heaviness to compare with Filth-era Swans; this is bass music at it's finest! The only ANb long-timer to appear here is Randall, performing (as usual) with an enormous amount of venom. Coupled with Steve 213's powerviolence grunts, the songs on offer here really are as angry as you can get.

 

I love all the songs, but "Unwelcome Remarks" is probably my favourite out of the three, containing some of the greatest ANb lyrics ever; "I've never known a cokehead to forget a line", "I'd rather piss on my own hand than shake yours" and "Simon says 'watch your fucking mouth around the other fucking adults'" all of which sound a bit unusual when isolated but make up one of the angriest songs ever made. Holy shit! Out on Relapse Records

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Pig Destroyer / Isis - Split 7"

This is one my favourite splits ever! Limited to 2000 copies thanks to Relapse Records. There is the usual Relapse 100 clear, 100 on orange, a bizarre 50 on white, and the remaining 1750 on black. I was lucky to get a black copy at a fairly decent price, but be wary that the white and orange pressings can fetch hefty price tags on record collector websites.

 

Classic Pig Destroyer are on top form, covering the goregrind legend that is (or was) Carcass. There is simply not a better version of "Genital Grinder / Regurgitation of Giblets" in existence. "Exhume to Consume" leaves a bit to be desired vocal-wise, but for the most part is an ultra-tight, lightening-fast zip through a classic track from the genre.

 

Isis on the other hand, opt for something a lot more slow and dirgy. With Agoraphobic Nosebleed's Jay Randall in tow they sucessfully create their own very unique version of the legendary Godflesh song "Streetcleaner". Not as sprawling in production as the original, but is almost suffocating with claustrophobia.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed / Armegeddon Nuclear System - Split 5"

To celebrate the recent "fixing" of my record player so that it now plays records smaller than 6", here is another 5" review! Where can one possibly go wrong with a 5" full of Gang Green covers? ANb's cover of "Alcohol" is punchy and bouncy, and is virtually flawless with Randall back on the mic. That'll do Hull, that'll do. I am unfamiliar at this point with Armageddon Nuclear System (more commonly known as ANS) but they do a damn fine version of "Let's Drink Some Beer", and also contribute a short original song to the proceedings, which is a bit odd but I'm cool with. Out on a smorgasbord of colours thanks to Tank Crimes.

 

 

Stream the whole thing below.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - Altered States of America

I remember back in the day when I first heard of this album. I remember how ridiculously excited I was to hear something so musically challenging. 100 songs? Less than 20 minutes? Bitch please, you must be trippin'! And trippin' I was when I first got this record in it's original 3" CD package from some crazy-mainstream outlet like Virgin Megastore or Zavvi (I forget which). I now own this testament to insanity three times; on the original 3" CD, the double shaped/blank CD package featuring ANbRX II (which is a fuckton of Delta Nine remixes) and on white 10" vinyl. All pressed by Relapse, of course. The vinyl version conveniently plays track 0 for you right at the start, which was always a nightmare to hear on the CD version because you had to rewind from 00:00 as soon as the first song started. If you wound back too far it'd just fucking cut out, which was a pain in the ass. Agorapocalypse also has this cool but rather annoying gimmick with it's first track too.

 

 

When I first heard this at 15 years old I expected 100 micro-grind blasts to the face and was initially disappointed with the electronic passages. I felt like I was being robbed of precious grindcore, ha ha! Although I still think it's a bit shit that the electronics are cut up into little pieces and passed off as songs, I have grown to like these just as much as the grind on display here. Some of the samples here are absolutely timeless when blended with such harsh noise (there is a lot taken from the film Holy Mountain). I always thought that the 12 Days of Sodom section in the middle of the record would be excellent as an EP in it's own right, as something crazy like a 4" or something.

 

Which CD is cooler, the original pressing or the reissue?

The CD reissue comes with this nifty remix disc by Delta Nine. 

So yeah, I'll go ahead and cut this off now before I ramble for seven thousand paragraphs about every single micro-song on this record. I've kinda fizzled myself out on grind these days but Agoraphobic Nosebleed remain one of my favourite bands of all time and this record stands in the halls of awesome grind as proof that such sonically mindfucking music can exist. 

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - Merry Crystmeth

Welcome to part 2 of my Christmas Day double post! Not sure how many of you will actually be reading this on Christmas but I hope the festivities have progressed satisfactorily for you all. I for one will be no doubt smashed off my face by now on my parent's free beer. Can't beat the Christmas visit!

This year's Decibel Christmas flexi is a follow up to last years cracking ANb EP, A Joyful Noise. This year however, the full modern ANb crew are utilized, sadly pushing Mr. Randall into the background again. Luckily then, the song is as fucking heavy as a protein rich turkey shitlog you can't quite squeeze out on Boxing Day. It seems a long time since I've heard the beautiful screeching demon Katherine Katz, and her throat-shredding, tonsil-raping cries are a welcoming sound. A Joyful Noise grinded and blasted, but Merry Crystmeth chugs and clanks like a motherfucker. It's a lethally angry song, pushed forward by Rich Johnson's (and to a lesser extent Randall's) livid vocals.

Merry Crystmeth falls firmly back into the territory that a lot of old ANb fans dislike, but I for one (and I'm sure a lot of others, too) absolutely love this white piece of wax that has the consistency of cling film. Imported from Californ-i-a by the legendary Gumpytron 6000.

Merry Christmas, you fucks!

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - A Joyful Noise

Ho ho ho! Merry fucking Christmas! Hope your having a good one and that plenty of turkey and grog is consumed. In line with the festivities, I have planned a double post for today, showcasing both the Agoraphobic Nosebleed flexis put out by Decibel magazine. I'll start with my favorite - the former of the two; last year's A Joyful Noise on square transparent red. These flexis are an absolute bastard to get in the UK at a decent price, and I thank eternally my long-haul loving friend Gumpy for bringing me back a set from California. Your an absolute legend!

I always defend "new" Agoraphobic Nosebleed from the viscous attacks of old school grinders but then when ANb come out with something like this it does make me think; "shit, why can't we just go back to this all the time?". A Joyful Noise was an epic Christmas 2011 gift to the more demanding grind fans, with Scott Hull stripping ANb back to the microblast carnage of old; a simple recipe of harsh noise and fast as fuck drum machine grindcore, with longtime and not-currently-used-enough vocalist/mastermind J. Randall snarling all over the top of it like a deranged lunatic.

A treat for us fans of old ANb, but it really does make you think that it should be this way all of the time! Ha ha (No offence to the excellent Kat and Rich Johnson of course, I'm just pining for more fuckin' crazy digigrind)

Anyways, here is the whole thing streaming. Blast it and have a great day. Don't say I don't give you anything. 

Japanese Torture Comedy Hour - Voltage Monster

This was my first ever noise CD. I accidentally bought it before I'd even heard of the noise genre, let alone of Merzbow or any of his button-pushing, knob-twisting, pedal-stomping ilk. I bought this CD once upon a long time ago off the Relapse mail order, purely because Jay Randall was involved. Boy did I have a shock when I played the fucker! At 17 years old I was at no stage in my musical development to even fathom the existence of - let alone appreciate - something as downright artsy-fartsy and nihilistic as harsh noise.

If some beret-wearing hipster had told me: "You gotta look passed it, maaaaaaan, to find the textures with the chaos, maaaaaaaaaaan, for each and every one of us interprets noise in a special cerebral way, maaaaaaan!" I would have set fire to his silly little beard and pushed the fucker down a flight of stairs. After insisting he shut the fuck up and listen to some goregrind, of course. However, as the existence of noise and power electronics as genres became apparent to me with time, I eventually remembered this prickly little CD gathering dust in my collection that I bought so many moons ago.

It suddenly all made so much sense! You're right, potentially imagined hipster with a silly beard! I can see (or is it hear?) the beauty within the chaos. I can interpret patterns and textures beneath the sea of mindfucking white noise like the best of 'em! Voltage Monster might not be as challenging or downright fucking insane as JTCH's 24-hour song "Lost in Distortion", but it is still as vicious, pairing the most head-frying harsh noise with the creepiest offerings of dark ambient.  I'll soon be running out of fancy adjectives so it's probably better if I just shut up now and let you listen to the track below and be done with it. Open your ears, and your mind, maaaaaaaaan!

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - PCP Torpedo 6"

This here really needs no introduction, but I'm gonna stick with the layout of the blog and give it one anyway! This is the legendary PCP Torpedo by Agoraphobic Nosebleed, released in 1998 on Hydra Head Records. This is one of the "clear" black / red mixed coloured discs limited to 541 copies. Other pressings include 490 pressed on a red / orange mix and 1100 on plain black. The test pressings (limited to 5) were bizarrely pressed on 7", not 6". You can see photos of that over on Discogs.

I once read Agoraphobic Nosebleed described as a "snarling, digital nightmare", and when that may be true in many, many ways, that description lends itself to this release perfectly. I was introduced to PCP Torpedo through the (just as epic) CD reissue, that my 17-year-old self thought was a new Agoraphobic Nosebleed album. I rushed out to the nearest city and scooped up a copy at HMV, and when I found out it was six minutes long I nearly blew a fucking gasket.

But honestly, it doesn't need to be any longer (also with the reissue CD the remixes make up for it). It's a blistering fuck of a 45, and can be fully appreciated more in it's original form. When I began seriously collecting records this was one of the first I hunted down. I know I'm continually brown-nosing ANb on this blog but this must be heard, it's still vital grind in today's music world. Get to it!

Agoraphobic Nosebleed / The Endless Blockade - Split 7"

Here we have Agoraphobic Nosebleed's 2009 split with The Endless Blockade, which was released on a 1000 copy press by Relapse Records. 500 were made on blue, and 500 were made on black. Strangely enough, there doesn't seem to be the usual 100 clear pressed on this Relapse release.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed's material sounds like a carry-on in the vein of their "Agorapocalypse" tracks. There isn't any hateful Randall vocals to be heard here, but Katherine Katz and Richard Johnson sure as hell make up for that. The grind is blisteringly fast and the final track is harrowing as fuck. Short, but sweet.

The Endless Blockade starts off almost with a doomy feel, before heading full throttle into endless grind terror (no pun intended) melded dangerously with snarling electronic passages and over laps. According to info on the sleeve, vocals on this release were done by a Mick Harris; whether this is the Mick Harris of Napalm Death / Scorn /Lull fame, I do not know.

There has been no repress and prices are generally high for such a modern grind 7", glad I nabbed this on the Bones Brigade stall at Hellfest when I did (it was sold out then, I believe).