Vulvulator - Obscenario

Vulvulator are (or were) a pornogrind band from the incredibly-metal-as-f sounding Uzhgorod, which is in Ukraine. One of the greatest tragedies of the 21st century is that they only ever released one album and a couple of splits. Obscenario is a bizarre blast through the usual pastures fermenting in these particular genres (slam / pornogrind / brutal death metal), but the production style chosen by the band (or maybe the studio producer?) really adds an interesting twist to proceedings. The songs are led by the bass, which strong and prominent in the mix, followed up by the guitars and held together by the odd drum sound; an unique twist on the ol' tighter-than-your-average snare sound.

If I had to sum up Vulvulator in one song I believe I could easily do this with track two on this heffer; "Oestrum Ecstasy". It perfectly sums up what I mean when this band ride the slam/BDM sound but also incorporate an odd, bass-driven sound. Other highlights include "Boy In A Boat", "Horror Of P.M.T." and the quite-excellent cover of GUT's "Dead Girls Don't Say No". It frightens me that this album is nearly ten years old. Hopefully I will still be listening to pornogrind from beyond the grave, but we'll see.

Splatter Whore - Kaviar Die Hards

If Pantera and Rompeprop had a baby it would sound like this. I shit you not. In what is possibly one of the most under-rated goregrind (gore ‘ n’ roll? Gore metal?) releases of all time, Splatter Whore burst onto the unsuspecting underground like a full colostomy bag hitting the pavement after being thrown from the roof of a multi-storey car park. It’s wet as fuck and extremely hard hitting. Lol. Metallic riffage and more traditional song structures meet the watery bowels of grind; the sloshing gore vocals, the disturbing samples and the repugnant subject matter. I think I’m getting a semi.

A gang-vocal chanted chorus of “Online Underage Gangbang” literally makes me howl with laughter every time I hear it. “Foul Stench From The Vents” is ridiculously catchy, as is “Rohypnol Power Hour” and “Golden Shower Glory Hole”. The opening track, “Triple X Malpractice” remains one of my favourite things ever in the history of time.

The fact that this was the release that birthed Rotten Roll Rex cements it’s coolness and absolute essentiality in the goregrind underworld. And the fact that the album art was supplied by a genuine Splatter Whore fan who relieved herself in her panties and took some pictures is… worrying…exciting? Nah, I’m not German enough to be into piss.

Satan's Revenge On Mankind - Goreblast

This was one of my first proper tastes of goregrind. I'd discovered the genre online, but this was one of the first records I actually owned, so it holds a special place in my heart (hahaha). Goreblast is an absolute festering mess of picollo snares, shifted vokills and all the fuzz in Germany (or is that Goremany?). Imagine Putrefaction In Progress-era LDOH but slowed down to a doom metal pace and with actual song structure. Throw in a couple of cheekily punky numbers and a myriad of weirdly blasphemous themes (not a usual staple of the goregrind genre, I'll be honest) and you've got Satan's Revenge On Mankind. The tray card reads "Satan's Revenge On Mankind is anti-vegetarian and pro-atom". That pretty much says it all really. On the inner by the disc is the slogan "Satan, Gore & Meat". That fucking NEEDS to be put on a t-shirt.

 

Opener "Vaticandestruction" is a sprawling wreck of a band warming up to disturbing samples, before said band burst into a hat-trick of SxRxOxMx classics; "We Come To Eat You" followed by "Gorevolution" and "Hyperbrutal Splattersatan". Some tracks fall into the comedic theme of something altogether more Anal Cunt ("I Hate Music", "I Hate Nature" and "Jesus Loves You Because He's Gay" as examples), whilst others spin off into something else entirely ("Invoking The Glorious Sado-Nuclear Extermination Of The Christian Plague" and "Infernal Christ Corpse Hacking Butcher Command On Behalf Of The Great Eternal Master Of Hell's Purifying Fire" anyone?). My personal favourite however is "Angels Taste Like Chicken". Groovy!

Throw in a bunch of awfully fantastic artwork and silly musician names and you have the recipe for the greatest goregrind in the universe. This was one of the first CDs that Rotten Roll did, and along with the Splatter Whore debut record, that label was off to a fucking flying start back in '06/7. So if you're into goregrind and are yet to hear the delights that The Almighty Mr. Goreblast and his band of heathen swine invoke, now is the time!