Disma - Towards The Megalith

Towards The Megalith is a bludgeoning epic in explosive, doom-laden, monolithic (or is that megalithic?) death metal. I've gotta be honest, I had never heard of these guys until they were announced for - and then controversially dropped from - the first edition of Netherlands Death Fest, due to accusations that the vocalist is involved in some national socialist noise project. Whether he is or not, I couldn't really give a fuck (that style of project is so puerile it isn't even worth acknowledging) - the only thing that the whole fracas achieved in my view was that a whole bunch of people who had never heard of Disma were now checking them out. Great work, kids!

Think Disembowelment meets Hooded Menace, or something along those lines. Drawn out, torturous and bleak, yet not boring or droning on. Great stuff!

Hooded Menace - Fulfill The Curse

The debut of slow, gloomy death magic from snail-paced doom masters, Hooded Menace. I'm about to run out and get myself a sacrificial robe, some dry ice and a bunch of cheap red wine after hearing this sludgy masterpiece again. I feel that somehow, paraphernalia like that is fitting for listening to stuff like this. Perhaps bizarrely, I once caught Hooded Menace live at Obscene Extreme festival (of all places!) and have been dabbling in their murky cauldron every so often since then, when I'm in the mood for soul excoriation via monolithian doom, of course. 

"Beauty And The Feast" has to be my favourite track here; the way it leads with a strong bass presence is simply amazing and brutal, and the track is oft reminiscent of Disembowelment before becoming something altogether more Sabbathy in the second half. Bizarro! Speaking of being bizarre as f, there's the odd "Love Song Of Gotho, The Hunchback Of The Morgue" and a cover version of the theme for Fulci's Manhattan Baby (Eye Of The Evil Dead for UK/USA readers).

Death doom, done right.

XXX Maniak / Coffins - Split 12"

Visual Darkness' CGI art used for the CD version.

Lou Rusconi's original art used for the LP version.

I love it when weird, totally out of the blue splits happen with two bands that are in absolutely no way related musically. This phenomenally weird split 12” between American sicko porno grinder XXX Maniak and Japanese death-doom titans Coffins is no exception to that rule. I guess the only  link between these two bands that I can decipher is that XXX Maniak love their slow, death doom shit; their label released a fancy box set version of diSEMBOWELMENT’s “Transcendence…” and related demos a few years ago. This split though - nowhere else can I hear 20 blasts of insane grind followed by a fucking Cathedral cover.

3XM’s nauseating debut will always have a place in my heart (lol) but I think I prefer the super-refined sound here. Gone are most death metal or goregrind vocal influences (as is the old vocalist, who apparently stole a bunch of money) which are replaced with a more straight-forward shouty, screamy approach, which is just lovely. Don’t think 3XM have changed up though; this is still hyperblasting drum machine grindcore littered with their trademark hilarious sampling. Despite the abundance of grinding hilarity on show here, my favourite track simply has to be “Smoking Sumerian Debris”, with its menacing riff and evil pitchshifted vocal.

Coffins are not a hyperblasting drum machine goregrind band. Coffins are a death metal influenced doom band from Japan. Coffins are slow; slower than the agonising death of a seagull smothered in spilt crude oil. Alongside their frankly excellent cover of Cathedral’s “Ebony Tears” is the single track, “The Cracks Of Doom”; a meandering, bludgeoning affair of sludgy, growly goodness.

To top off all this awesomeness, the LP release of this split uses the original Lou Rusconi artwork. Whilst it’s not quite as flashy as Visual Darkness’ CGI skeletal affair (VD did the artwork for the 3XM full length and for their split with Lymphatic Phlegm. The cover for this split is actually rather tame compared to these other disturbing creations) it’s still really, really twisted. I love Lou Rusconi’s stuff and I implore you to check it out! Eagle-eyed grinders will noticed that the second 3XM member has had his face erased from the cover art.

Ishmael - Hell Is Empty And All The Devils Are Here

I first experienced Ishmael many moons ago at Rainfest 2010 (AKA Bloodstock 2010) on the unsigned stage. I can't remember how we ended up watching them, perhaps it was because a large chunk of the crap on the mainstage was....well....crap. Anyhow, I was blown away by the sheer heaviness of this band; I did not expect such a sludgy and droney doom band to be playing Bloodstock, and I was proper chuffed to have caught them on a fluke. My mate Gumpy bought a CDr demo off them at the time, which I can't remember the name of, but I still have in the format of mp3. I recall the high-lariously titled song "Clit Snipper", which sounds just as nasty as it reads.

Roll on a few years then, and I'm now following Ishmael on Facebook. One day, I see they have released a tape, entitled Hell Is Empty And All The Devils Are Here, and I finally decide that it's high-time I actually bought something that this band have put out. And boy am I impressed! What a fuckin' sludgy tape! The production is shit hot, and the physical product as well has been professionally put together. That might not seem like much in itself but I'm normally used to getting DIY shit, so this tape looks extra impressive and shiny to me.

There are only three songs here, but they are fairly lengthy and make up a good total time between them. They are all, perhaps unsurprisingly, slower than an old man in slippers, and heavier than a wooden cart full of plague victims. Vocalist Dani Hawkins is particularly impressive; she is a veritable snarling beast, dispensing demonic-grade snarls, growls and roars alongside the brain-shaking doom metal.

If you like slow, sludgy, evil doom you need to get a load of this band! It's an absolute shame that they are now broken up but you can still listen to their stuff online. This tape was made by Breathe Plastic, and limited to 50 copies. I have number 6.

diSEMBOWELMENT - Transcendence Into The Peripheral

Imagine how stupid I felt after shelling out for the super-ultra-mega-wicked-limited edition of this record that was ONLY available at day one of Roadburn 2012 when I found out there was actually less to it than the normal Relapse package and a few quid more expensive! Bitch please! In a European world where records cost an average of 20 Euros each I was not impressed. Never mind, I guess it is the same record regardless, not to mention it is just that; super-ultra-mega-wicked. Oh boy.

diSEMBOWELMENT were another one of those bands that I would always hear mentioned and I would never get around to checking out. Shame on me. When Roadburn 2012 announcements came around and I finally was forced to download this to get familiar with them, boy was my face red. Nowadays my tolerance for death metal is as thin and worn out as Sasha Grey's taint, and for that reason I will kick myself eternal that I did not discover this record in the peak of my death metal / grindcore days, where I surely would have appreciated it more!

But it is no matter, it is still slower than a Land Rover Defender stuck in 2nd gear, and I can get down with that. "Death metal? Slow, you say? Have you had too many knocks on the head?" I hear you ask. Why yes I have, but that's besides the point. I think this is the first death-doom record I own; that's not to say that it is pure death-doom, you get the odd blast beat and a whole bunch of weird stuff to keep it interesting. If you like your records long, drawn out and quite honestly painful, I would highly recommend this band.

Check out track two on this fucker, it has the most epic intro ever.