Neuropathia - Satan Owns Your Stereo

They do say that the devil has all the best tunes, and that is mos-def the situation here with Neuropathia's 5th album (I could be wrong as the band have a long and varied discography and I just took a cursory glance at Discogs lol). Prepare yon lugholes for a bombastic explosion of somewhat rock-n-roll tinged grindcore madness. Imagine Regurgitate meeting Blood Duster at a Malignant Tumour gig and distill all of that through a modern yet still organic production, and you'll get something akin to this devilish recording.

It's not all-go however; the carnage is punctuated with some doomier moments, slower tracks with samples running over them, or with sludgier riffs that call back to the song structure styles used by acts such as Gut (but with layers of grume scraped away by the clear sound). Song titles such as "On Your Knees", "Transsexual Worshipers of Satan" and "Iron Midget Buster of the Elephants" similarly hark back to that particular school of grind.

The one thing about this record that I don't understand is the bizarre inclusion of the ambient, moody track "Brain Damage" bang at the end of the, err, first act, as it were. As the listener, when you are full swing into the type of carnage presented here, the last thing you'd expect (or even particularly want) is a curve ball thrown at you in the shape of a drifting soundscape that goes absolutely nowhere. Bizarre choice, saved by the plethora of amazing tracks that follow it. 

Satan's Satyrs - Wild Beyond Belief

Satan's Satyrs play dirty, dingy rock and roll tinged with that punk attitude that everyone loves so much (amirite?). The guitar tone here is off the chart, transporting you right to the heart of Fuzz City USA. We lose a bit of clarity in the overall production sound, which is a bit muddy, and the drums have this strange treble-heavy density to them (which is rather intruding at first but you get used to it), almost as if they are being played in another room away from you, but if anything, this just adds to the charm of the record, which is a highly enjoyable, mirky romp through witch/doobie burning excellence.

"Electric Witchwhipper" is probably my favourite track, and is just totally dripping in sleaze, making me want to dive into a swimming pool filled with 80s exploitation films (ouch!). Check it out below.

Roxy Saint - Orphan Child

I have to admit, up until I recently Googled the movie "Zombie Strippers" (for err, personal reasons), I had completely forgotten that Roxy Saint existed. Recalling that the track "Firecracker" off her Personality Tapes DVD/Album (?) was a decent song, I downloaded this record onto my Spotify and gave it a spin. Honestly, I was surprised at what I found, and that it was pretty good. There will be no awards for originality here, but Roxy has an awesome voice which lends itself to this type of music fantastically.

For better or worse, it reeks of that typical "we are young and/or crazy and we don't care" Hollywood rock'n'roll attitude, but there are a few stand out tracks that poke through the swagger and rebellious whiskey-from-the-bottle world view; of which, "Bimbo on the Phone" is probably the best. Enjoy.

(Excuse the crappy resolution art on today's post - my humblest apologies to you, dear reader!)

Misfits - The Devil's Rain

It turns out that sometimes you just can’t polish a turd.

Back when this steaming pile of shit was first released, I, like many other Misfits fans clinging onto hollow vestiges of hope, checked out this record with fingers crossed. Hey, you gotta admit that the cover art is totally fucking epic - what fiend wouldn’t be half-tempted by the glorious image of Mr. Skullface looking all power metal? But, when a masterpiece of a sleeve hides a terrible turd of a record then the whole situation seems a million times worse for some reason; it’s like you’ve not only been totally gutted but you’ve been lied to as well. It’s like the small comfort in a rapist whispering creepily “it’ll all be over in a few minutes”, and then you find out later on that you’ve got HIV.

I want to line up the legions of yes men who told Jerry Only it was a good idea to do another Misfits album (especially after Project 1950) and machine-gun them all with paintballs. Musically, Devil’s Rain is soundly put together, although it’s a little boring and Only’s bass is mixed suspiciously low. This record is like the …And Justice For All of the horrorpunk genre. 

But seriously, my real issue here is with the vocals - the out of tune, tired and flaccid croons of a withering legend trying to mimic peers departed; a retarded karaoke lovechild of Danzig and Graves, which fails to not only reach the prowess of either, but also to spark any sort of ignition on these already half-arsed, plodding, tedious songs. 

It genuinely baffles me how anyone aware of the Misfits legacy could possibly enjoy this album, and I strongly suspect that anyone who willingly paid money for this record may have some sort of mental illness. Avoid. 

For the love of holy fuck don’t click play on this video.
 

Black Moth - The Killing Jar

The Killing Jar is quite possible one of the crappiest names for an album I've ever come across, but let's not let that tarnish things here. Black Moth are a dirty rock and/or roll band with stoner and doom metal influences. They've been around for a few years now but I hadn't heard of them until they were announced for Temples Festival this year. I was too smashed to watch them (story of my life) on the day but they did make my "check out everyone playing Temples" list on Spotify, from where I then migrated to checking out their entire album.

The Killing Jar is a brilliant record, combining raunchy swagger with heavy guitar riffs and a rocking pace. The vocals provided by Harriet Bevan are equal parts teasing, powerful and even cheeky. It's like somebody put the sounds of Kyuss and Blues Pills into a blender, along with some essence of garage rock. Opening track "The Articulate Dead" is a corker, and was even a single release for the band (on 7" too), but my favourite tracks are the hat-trick of "Chicken Shit", "Blind Faith" and "Plastic Blaze", which are towards the end of the album. 

This record was put out on both CD and vinyl by the New Heavy Sounds label, whose small roster includes fellow stoner/doom influenced rockers, Throne. But yeah, check out Black Moth, they rule.

Dave Stewart And The Spiritual Cowboys - Dave Stewart And The Spiritual Cowboys

Holy shit this is some chilled out stuff. I'm not talking dubby or ambient or anything, just nice and laid back rock'n'roll with easy, soft vocals and a purring bassline. I would never have bought this myself, mainly because I have never heard of Dave Stewart before; it was a gift from my old man (as the Americans say), who sometimes randomly sends a record my way, which is awfully kind of him. Apparently on a recent holiday my parents took, my father was mistaken for a retired Dave Stewart by the hotel staff. When I was told this story it became apparent that I had never heard of Dave Stewart, and a few weeks later this 12" landed in my possession. Ha!

As I opened up with saying, track 1 is chilled as feck, but track 2 "King Of The Hypocrites" brings all of the funk in the universe, chicken-grease guitars and all. The song that follows it, "Diamond Avenue" has a whole fast-paced abstract lyrical approach that reminds me of something that Bryan Ferry might have done at some point (think "Street Life" or "A Hard Rain's A'Gonna Fall" (that title might not be strictly 100% correct!)). The remains of the A side are fairly lackluster compared to these first three songs.

Side B opens up all guns blazing, with all sorts of shit going on; trumpets popping up left right and centre for the lively yet very rubbish "Party Town". In fact, "Party Town" is so goddamn awful that I call the listening a day right here. I've gotten an over-all feel for what's going on here! Ha ha! No doubt I'll spin this again soon but for the purposes of this review I have heard more than enough Dave Stewart and the Spiritual Cowboys. Mega recommends if you're into classic rock and/or roll, otherwise I wouldn't bother clicking.

Malignant Tumour - Burninhell

I've had this album for years, and I can't remember where I got it from. Anyways, I got it and was expecting some nasty goregrind but instead was met with some metallic punk sound so I fucked it off and forgot that I had it. It wasn't until I saw Malignant Tumour live in Obscene Extreme Festival 2013 that I remembered I had this 12"; Gumpy said something about really enjoying them and wanting to get some albums and I just clicked that I already had one somewhere. Sure, Burninhell isn't as polished or as rock'n'roll as later, more accessable material by the band but it's still a pretty cool d-beat influenced metal record. To me it sounds like Motorhead, Discharge and Agathocles crossed over in a modern studio. I can get behind that!

Opener, "Clearance of Century" has a huge punk feel to it, whilst second track "Here We Are" brings the grind that I love so much. The ferocity here is totally non-stop; the vocals are super savage and really match the hybrid sound perfectly. "Commands from the Oval Throne" on side B is another favourite of mine. The whole thing closes out with "Oseriost som fan", which is crusty as absolute fucking fuck, before ending with some epic chanting shit. This has been out for some time now on CD and vinyl thanks to Insane Society Records. Czech it out in the link below!

Safehouse - Press to Ascend

This EP has a mega-random story behind it. When I was around 13/14, our gang would always chill / play fuck in this one street in upper-Abercanaid. The wannabe-middle class fucks up there hated us, but we had a few friends who lived there so we always hung around there. Not everyone there was bad, but there was the usual crowd of grouchy middle-aged meatbags who despised children. Not to mention, we did play fuck quite a bit, but that's another story for another time, possibly whilst in a local pub surrounded by old friends and with a belly bursting with beer. I digress. One day this car is pulled up outside one of the houses and a gang of older boys are hanging around it. The boot is open and they are all talking excitedly. I guess one of the lads had parents that lived here. Anyways, after a while one of the dudes walks over with about 10 CDs and asks us all "do you like music?". A few of us answer "yes" in unison and we get given copies of this CD, whom I assume is the band of the boys with the car.

Extremely riveting story aside, the CD turned out to be Press to Ascend, a demo/EP by local jazz-influenced pub rock band, Safehouse. They were quite active around Merthyr for a while but I was too young to really understand or want to be involved in ever going to see them live. It was all a bit before my time. Anyway, time to round this off. Press to Ascend isn't particularly a CD I ever listen to but it is something I will always keep in my collection, mainly for the memories. Also I think it was the first time I was given something as cool as a CD for free by actual musicians. Holy shit! This was self released in 2003. RIP Safehouse!

PS this band is not to be confused with the currently active South Wales covers band Safe House.