Embalming Theatre - The World is a Stage... For Murder!

If you've been following this site since the beginning then you're probably somewhat aware that I have had mostly nothing but praise for all the Embalming Theatre stuff that I've reviewed. This 2005 full-length record is going to be no exception, as it showcases everything that I love about these Swiss grindcore maniacs. What I have here the 2007 pressing on vinyl by Power It Up from Germany (the original 2005 release was just on CD).

If you know what Embalming Theatre are about then The World... isn't a particularly ground breaking or forward-thinking record. It is, basically, Embalming Theatre doing what Embalming Theatre does best; churning out oddly-catchy, death metal tinged grind hymns of disturbing sickness. "Amputation Of The Wrong Leg Part II" is obscenely catchy for a track bathed in such grim subject matter, as is "Get High On A Dead Dog" - another highlight of side A - which blasts and rattles through the horrendous (true) tale of two thieves from Essex (yes!) who snorted the cremated remains of a dog called Charlie because they thought it was, ironically, coke or something. Shit! "Foetal Remains In A Trash Compactor" has another killer groove that rounds off side A. 

Side B houses such classics as "He Attacked Her With A Chainsaw" and the gastronomic "Bake The Baby", before rounding the entire bizarre, macabre circus off with the piano-driven (double yes!) "Bulldozer Blues", which really has to be heard to be believed. Whoever said grindcore has to be serious? Ha ha! Embalming Theatre seem to subtly balance a gallows humour with their morbid tales of mutilation and destruction based on true events from around the world. Filter this balance through a dirgy, treble-heavy, gurgly and guttural grindcore assault, and you've the perfect recipe for the (perfect) disaster! 

Give a whirl in the link below!

Embalming Theatre / Swarrrm - Split 12"

Another record that I have been meaning to buy for years and years and years. I finally got it cheap at Obscene Extreme (like, Obscenely cheap ;D) and whilst I was chuffed to pieces to pick up a split 12" for round-abouts the price of a split 7" I was gutted as fuck to find out that the material here is all live! Maaaaan, why can't I ever research these things properly? The amount of surprises I've had just by spinning a fucking vinyl is bloody unbelievable! I know it's my fault but I cannot shake the disappointment.

 

I am not familiar with the works of Swarrrm so less than ten seconds into the horrendously recorded live set I've turned the bastard thing off. Embalming Theatre on the other hand have bizarrely placed a 7" worth of original material before their live tracks, which is a proper strange move but one that I applaud them for as it totally saves this 12" for me. The band never fail in their blast and gurgle approach, and kick things off with the oddball track "Tsunami Pt I: Survived to be Gangraped". Well, isn't that an unfortunate set of circumstances?

The live set that follows the studio tracks isn't that bad either; the quality is very acceptable and is probably a sound desk recording or something similar. There's a few Embalming Theatre classics here as well so that's more reason to be happy; "Someone Else in my Coffin" and "Get High on a Dead Dog" still sound amazing live. This 12" was put out by the possibly Pig Destroyer-obsessed Jennifer Grind Records, and is limited to 500 copies.

Embalming Theatre / XXX Maniak - Split 7"

What we have here is the 2006 split release between 7" masters Embalming Theatre and the excellent yet short lived gore/porn/cybergrind maniacs XXX Maniak. This, along with the Birdflesh / Hatebeak split and the Bowel Stew / Tu Carne split, constituted my first vinyl purchases ever. Those were the days! This was put out by the excellent Haunted Hotel Records on a run of 1000 copies; 300 on grey and 700 on black. According to Discogs, the grey ones were only available through Haunted Hotel's mail order. Good tactic, sirs.

This is my favourite Embalming Theatre shit, probably because it was the first I had ever heard. "Rotten Corpses..." is usual Embalming Theatre fare, but "Sadistic Mom" and "Come to me and I eat Your Horny Flesh" (which is in the running for the award for stupidest song title ever) are mind-numbingly catchy for this type of music. Embalming Theatre growl'n'grind through 5 minutes like it was nobody's business, stopping only for eery, dated sounding samples to lend some extra atmosphere to all the doom and gloom.

What dicks me off about the XXX Maniak side is that it starts from the inside out; an excellently super wicked cool gimmick, until you get a record player with an auto-lift function. As soon as move the needle to the disc label and drop it for playing, the bastard just lifts back off again thinking the record has finished! Never mind, I've probably listened this record to death on my old player anyway. Also dropping in at the right moment is rather difficult, so most of the time you find you miss the sample to the first song (not exactly a bad thing).

I'm not sure if I prefer XXX Maniak as a one piece or a two piece. This was one of the last things recorded with the two piece line up, and is very similar in sound and design to their material from the split 7" with I Shit On Your Face that was to come shortly afterwards. "Gays Vs. Blacks" confusingly juggles itself between the boundaries of disturbing and extremely amusing, and remains one of my favourite grind songs of all time. Make what you will of the sample before it.

This fantastic testament of filth is still embarrassingly cheap to pick up online, including the grey version, so get out there and buy that bastard! If you like heavy music and haven't heard either of these bands then you need to change that right now!

Embalming Theatre / Intumescence - Split 7"

What I like about getting another Embalming Theatre split is that you can see what weird and wonderful art Mr. Gemmet has come up with time. This under-rated Swiss genius seems to squeeze out any pretentiousness from his surrealism before bashing it headways in full colour into the morbid, the sick, and the downright unusual. This rather colourful 7" sleeve features a very angry looking guy with wires in his mouth. These wires are subsequently, for some reason, hooked up to a vagina. Very well then.

Intumescence on the other side have actually named their EP very nicely. "Eyes Clotted with Dreams" isn't the type of reflective or insightful name you would usually expect from noisy, messy goregrind such as this, but I do sometimes like to be suprised. Musically, Embalming Theatre bring their usual plodding gargle'n'growl horror story grind recipe that works so well; maniacally swaying back and forth between low and high snare sounds, which is annoying at first until you realise actually how awesome it is. Intumescence almost come on to start like a muddy as fuck sludge band, before launching into a garbled, noisy assault of the senses. If you like horrible, noisy goregrind then you will like Intumescence.

This pressing is a lovely dark blood red; transparent yet thick enough to hold its own in the colour stakes. 100 copies exist, and I am proud to own one. The other 300 copies of this in existence are on black. The whole thing was released by the now sadly defunct Murder the World Records. This isn't my favourite Embalming Theatre split 7" but it is still pretty awesome.

PS I can't find a song off this record anywhere on Youtube so enjoy this little live video instead. Tops.

Dead / Butcher ABC - Split 7"

 

After Dead and Butcher ABC toured Japan together it wasn't much of a surpise when a split came out a few years later. Japan's excellent Obliteration Records co-released this (it would seem) with Autopsy Stench Records (who, being German, I assume have something to do with Dead). As far as my small mind is aware, all the copies are on black.

What we get from the usually excellent goregrind legends Dead is actually a rather wet and patheitc live re-hashing of an old classic. The song itself is excellent, and I'm sure the concert was brilliant, but does this live recording really justify a side of a 7", especially when the band on the other side has contributed a full studio track?

Speaking of said other band, Butcher ABC beat the listener into submission with a song that is dripping in Bolt Thrower worship (what gave it away, the cover art or the riffs?) and sloppy heaviness. This track originally appeared on some compilation CD or other but it gets a proper ABC release on this 7". It's a shame the Dead side isn't just as good as this!

Again, like the music, the Dead artwork is a bit half arsed. I think that it is done by the - again usually excellent - vocalist / artist for Embalming Theatre? The artwork is very similar to his anyway. Butcher ABC's bombastic "Grind Workshop" artwork is interstellar awesomeness in comparison, so much so that I have placed that as the main artwork for this article rather than the Dead side.

Anyways, enough shit talking, get your lugholes around the good side of this 7", and pick it up, it is still pretty cheap to get online.

Agathocles / Embalming Theatre - Split 7"

Agathocles split with Embalming Theatre, released in 2000 by the now seemingly defunct Paranoia Syndrome label. Pressing limited to 1000 copies on clear/red splatter. I have number 649.

Another favourite of mine, with two masters of the 7" split meeting on one piece of vinyl. Everything by Embalming Theatre is just great (don't know why, it's just something about them that makes them very listenable for me) and it's an amazing that Agathocles seem to have written some original songs for a 7" (for a change). Shame that the label has gone out of business, because this is a fantastic 7".

V/A - Unlawful Grindcore Assembly - Split 7"

Unlawful Grindcore Assembly Compilation 7" featuring Pestilent Decay, Gate, Watch Me Burn, Bloodred Bacteria, Mierda Para Todos, Cara De Mil Putazos, Fetus Eaters, Deadfood, The Kill, Tu Carne, Wasteoid, Embalming Theare, Sayyadina, Pinata Lazer, Unholy Grave, Gored Face, Godstomper, Kerum, Nukum, Unholy Semen, 2 Minuta Dreka & Coprophagigs. Unknown amount pressing on transparent blue, released in 2005 by Nuclear BBQ Party Records.

I got this free when I bought the Agathocles / Embalming Theatre split 7" off Ebay; I guess the guy I bought it off ran the label. It's a bit hit and miss, but it's definitely a great cross section of grindcore music, from gore and porn through to noisecore and straight up traditional grind. An interesting listen when you feel you can look past the distortion barrier.